It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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