Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
