i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
