Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
