i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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