new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we made out on top of his cat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
