Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
