you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize