I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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