You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
