that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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