5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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