My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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