so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
