So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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