I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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