it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
