She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
