I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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