Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
