how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
