i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
