we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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