All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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