i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
