if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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