I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
