Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
