Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
