That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
