the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
