My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
