I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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