Your face is a jimmy john
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
