There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
