I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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