OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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