I want to have your abortion
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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