Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
