we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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