I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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