Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
