sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
