If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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