Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
