hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
