nut hugger
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
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