Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
