It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
