Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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