Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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