playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
