when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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