Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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