I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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