It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
