How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
