Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
