He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
