I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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