Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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