she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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