i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
