you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
