something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i think im in europe. pls send help
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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