We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
