so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
