Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
