i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
